In 2025, during one of our after-dinner gatherings at the Women of the Rancho Retreat, I led a workshop on how we are physiologically heart-driven — even though most of us operate out of our brains more than our hearts. It’s a theme that sits at the center of everything we do at Women of the Rancho. What does a woman’s heart-centered healing retreat look like in practice? For me, it starts with science.
The Science of Listening: What the Vagal Nerve Has to Do With It
We have a vagal nerve that runs from the brain down the back of the spine, through the throat, to the lungs, the heart, and finally the gut. This nerve is a key part of the parasympathetic nervous system and can be stimulated through mindfulness, slow breathing, and meditation. When activated, it helps counteract stress and release calming hormones. This is something we practice when doing short meditations and deep breathing before our horse activities.
From a physiological perspective, there is communication between the brain and the lungs, heart, and gut. What I find especially fascinating, though, is that in every human being there are many more messages traveling from the heart to the brain through the vagal nerve. Often, the messages coming from the brain to the heart are critical, anxious, or negative. But the messages generated by the heart and sent to the brain are typically more tender, heartfelt, and authentic — reflecting our true feelings of kindness, compassion, and love.
If we could slow down and set a clearer intention, perhaps we could live happier lives by listening a bit more closely to those heart messages, and a little less to the constant chatter of the brain.
A Story That Stopped the Room: Brandon and Alibi
Something unexpected happened the last evening of our retreat. Brandon, the equine operations director, joined us for our closing ceremony, where each of us had the chance to share a personal story. Brandon shared a powerful heart story with us.
He told us about buying his first horse, Alibi, when the horse was just a yearling. Brandon trained him, but Alibi had a persistent habit of bucking — and had thrown Brandon more times than he could count. Eventually, Brandon decided to sell Alibi to a man in Montana.
Nineteen years passed. One day, Brandon found himself thinking about Alibi and wondering what had become of him. He started making phone calls and finally reached the original buyer. The man remembered the horse immediately and said the same thing everyone eventually did: no matter what he tried, “that horse bucked me off.” He told Brandon who he had sold Alibi to next.
Brandon kept calling and tracking down each subsequent owner. Over those 19 years, every single person remembered Alibi for the same reason: sooner or later, if you got in the saddle, he bucked.
At last, Brandon located a rancher in Texas who currently owned Alibi. Brandon asked if he could buy the horse back. The rancher agreed, saying Alibi was kind and easy on the ground, but still bucked when ridden. So Brandon hitched up his horse trailer, drove to Texas, and brought Alibi home. This time, Brandon put Alibi to work as a therapy horse for groundwork retreats — a retreat with horses where no one needed to ride him. Alibi could simply be who he was — sensitive, present, and powerful on the ground.
What Alibi Taught Us About Following Our Hearts
It was a beautiful story for all of us to hear. It reminded us that even many years later, our hearts don’t forget what matters. Sometimes we are called to circle back, listen more deeply, and follow our hearts.
Join Us This October at Alisal Ranch
If you’re searching for heart-centered healing in the company of horses and like-minded women, I encourage you to join us this October. Women of the Rancho at Alisal Ranch offers the space, support, and adventure you may need. I look forward to meeting you and sharing this transformative experience together.
Book NowFrequently Asked Questions
It means we start from the inside out. Before we ever get near the horses, we do breathwork and short meditations to help settle the nervous system — specifically, to activate the vagal nerve and shift out of that constant brain chatter. The horses then respond to whatever you’re feeling, not what you think you’re feeling. That combination tends to surface things that are real and true. That’s the heart-centered part.
We hold our retreat once a year at Alisal Ranch in the Santa Ynez Valley in California. This year’s retreat starts on October 11, 2026.
Yes, most of the women come alone. The retreat, with meals, trail-riding groups, and evening activities, is a great setup for making new friends. Everybody is there with a common interest of loving horses, wellness and trail riding.
That’s exactly what struck all of us. Here was Brandon — this experienced horseman — who, nineteen years later, still couldn’t shake the pull to find that horse and bring him home. He didn’t analyze it. He just followed what his heart was telling him. And it turned out Alibi had a whole new purpose waiting for him. That’s the kind of story that doesn’t need any commentary. It just lands.
In my experience, that’s often exactly when it’s right for you. The retreat isn’t a spa weekend — it’s a chance to slow down, be with other women who are showing up honestly, and let the horses and the land do what they do. You don’t have to have it together to come. You just have to be willing to listen.